Panic Mode

I REALLY should be going to bed instead of writing this since I got HORRIBLE sleep last night, but I have reached panic mode & I am afraid that anxiety is going to kick in for the next couple of weeks.

I have 5 1/2 weeks until my due date. Tonight a friend of mine ( who is a nurse) asked me how long I had until I was due. I told her 5 1/2 & weeks, she looked at me and said " I predict that you won't go longer than 3 weeks". I told her both of my other babies were overdue & she still said 3 weeks..... It honestly hit me like a ton of bricks.... That is coming SO soon!

We are supposed to have our yard in by June 1st! Because of weather, we pretty much haven't even started it yet & my husband spontaneously decided to make plans for this weekend which means we will be gone.... No yard work getting done!

I AM PANICING! Why does everything fall at once?! I have no idea how we are going to get this yard in... especially if it keeps down pouring the way that it has been. I know we can only do what we can do.. But there is A LOT to do & of course I want it all done before that baby comes!

Small & Precious Moment

My baby girl is growing up! Tonight was Brooklyn's first night in her new big girl bedroom! I got most of the mural painted in her closet & James & I decided that we needed to call it quits for now so that we could get Brooklyn moved into that room & then move forward with getting Kenidi moved and the nursery ready for baby....

So... Tonight I was laying down with Brooklyn in her big girl full size bed & I was talking to her. I told her "Brooklyn, you are a big girl now. You are the big sister. Baby Payton is coming soon & you are going to be the big sister to both your sisters & we need to room for her.". She gets up for her spot, lifts up my shirt, pats my tummy & gives baby Payton a kiss!

This was a very precious moment for me because she usually gets upset when I try & show her my tummy or talk about baby Payton in my tummy. I think that smart little 2 year old brain of hers really does understand that she has a sister coming. Kenidi loves to give my belly kisses..... She is going to be a sweet older sister! They both will! I really had to sit & think about it today... I am on my third child! Less than 4 years ago I lived in tears wondering when I was going to be blessed with a child, & now I am about to have my third! It is kind of mind boggling when I really sit & think about it. I am getting very excited to bring baby Payton into this world & start our life with our 3 little girlies!

P.S. It is officially, official.... She is baby Payton Capri! I let James choose the spelling he wanted.

Grumpy

I have been such a grumpy cus this pregnancy & I am sick of it! I really do win the worst mama award lately. Everything my girls do or say just makes me snap at them. I have been so exhausted from not sleeping, being in pain, being sick & simply being pregnant, that I don't have the energy or patience to calmly take care of them. I am on edge ALL.THE.TIME! After being pregnant for basically 3 years straight, I am done feeling like I can't properly take care of my kids. Poor Brooklyn hasn't really had me as a good mommy in her little 2 1/2 years with me being pregnant 2 other times & nursing a baby between. I am ready to be a mommy & be done with this pregnancy stuff for a good long while! I hate that I feel like I am in this Rat Race of survival everyday. I can't keep up with my girls, can't keep up with the massive messes made in EVERY.SINGLE.ROOM!..... I feel like I am on a fast treadmill just trying with all my might to not fall on my face but I am getting nothing out of it.... I am ready for life to level out & give me some time to feel like I can regroup, take a breath & get on top of everything that I need to & move forward calmly.... not sure that will happen before baby arrives in 7 weeks.

LDS Addiction Services

Has anyone had experience with someone close to them or that they know go through the LDS Addiction Services? If so, have you heard about their experience?

I have someone close to me who is going through a very difficult time and I am starting to think that this could be an answer or a help to this person.