I don't get embarrased easily, I am usually one who can make a joke of any situation & move on & don't care much about it. Well, yesterday in Relief Society, the one thing that I try hard to not have happen happened to me.
I hate crying & I ESPECIALLY hate crying in front of people (even my husband). Have you ever had something (or LOTS of somethings) that you have held in a for a long while?.... Than you know what happened! I was in RS & the lesson triggered ALL of those somethings & I couldn't hold it in. I tried & it wouldn't stay.... Then as the lesson went on, the crying got worse. My sweet friend Haylie ran & got me some tissue from the bathroom, but before I knew it, the tissue was full & I was getting into the ugly cry! I had to get up & leave during the closing song as EVERYONE was looking at me... Not to mention all the people in the hall looking at me!
I am an ugly crier! My face goes BEET red & blotchy & my eyes go an intense red & there is no hiding it.
One of the worst things about the situation is that it was Stake Conference & the RS StAke Presidency was there & was wondering what was going on with me! It was a hard situation for me to be in... & then my husband sees me afterwards & is wondering what in the world is going on! Last night on our way home he asked me about it again.... We stayed up talking about all the "somethings" for hours & I cried the whole time! Hopefully it is out of my system now & I don't have another public breakdown!
I just have to say that I have some of the SWEETEST friends! The one teaching the lesson brought me brownies & a sweet card, I got texts & messages & they all made me feel better the situation & the embarrassment I felt.... Thanks girls!
Monday, February 28, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Name down-low
So here is the low-down on the names (sorry if you are sick of name talk by this point).
Hazel was eliminated because everyone I said it to in person said it sounded like a grandma name! when I thought of the name, I had never heard it before. I thought of the color & thought that would be the cutesy name!.... Wasn't expecting the comments " that's my great aunts name " & "I just can"t picture a baby with that name, it sounds old". So needless to say, it ruined it for me (even though it has been in the lead pretty much the whole time).
Haven is way cute but hasn't gotten great responses & it wasn't on the top of the list to start with.
The other 4, James & I love & can't narrow it down except to this.... One of them is going to be a middle name & the other 3 will be decided between when she is born... But we won't tell you which names are which. We have to see her in person to see which name suits her. Let's hope this doesn't drive me crazy!
Hazel was eliminated because everyone I said it to in person said it sounded like a grandma name! when I thought of the name, I had never heard it before. I thought of the color & thought that would be the cutesy name!.... Wasn't expecting the comments " that's my great aunts name " & "I just can"t picture a baby with that name, it sounds old". So needless to say, it ruined it for me (even though it has been in the lead pretty much the whole time).
Haven is way cute but hasn't gotten great responses & it wasn't on the top of the list to start with.
The other 4, James & I love & can't narrow it down except to this.... One of them is going to be a middle name & the other 3 will be decided between when she is born... But we won't tell you which names are which. We have to see her in person to see which name suits her. Let's hope this doesn't drive me crazy!
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Hardest decision
I have been going over names for days & we can't decide. We had it narrowed down to 2, but I honestly have 4 that I love & can't come to a conclusion. James has 1 that he loves but I'm not feeling it as much.... This may be the first time that we aren't calling her by name until she is born! I can't tell you how hard that is for me! Too many cute names
P.s. The 2 H names are eliminated & the other ones are in the running
P.s. The 2 H names are eliminated & the other ones are in the running
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Baby Girl Name
I honestly thought that this baby was named, but James decided to let me know that he wasn't completely sold on it & that he wanted to explore more name options. I have a list of names that we have gone over and one or both of us like each of these names. Will you just let us know which ones you like. I am wanting to see how people respond to some of these. I won't let you know who likes what names, I want this to be completely non biased. You are welcome to vote anonymously, or let us know your real opinions in the comments. Thanks so much for your input :)
And yes we are aware that these are not your everyday names ;)
(You can vote for more than one)
And yes we are aware that these are not your everyday names ;)
(You can vote for more than one)
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Perfectly Imperfect!
First off, let me start off by saying that we went to the ultrasound this past week and found out that we are having another GIRL! I laughed so hard when she said that.... but then I felt bad for James. He was SO hoping for a boy this time around (& needs a little boy with all of the estrogen in our household).
We always knew that we were going to have a Brooklyn and Kenidi so their names were never surprises. I wanted to keep this baby's name a secret until she was born but I really don't think I can keep it to myself. I am one who has to have a name picked out right away and call it by that name.... it is a weird bonding thing to me (at least James thinks I am weird). I will do a separate post on that later though because I may need some opinions on the spelling and middle name for her.
p.s I wanted to post the cute little 3D picture that was done of her but my computer is permanently shut off since it has about over 200 viruses on it (?) & I don't dare do anything with James work computer, so these posts are still pictureless. (but yes I did finally find my battery charger)
ANYWAYS, I was in the bathroom getting ready the other day thinking through my head one of my biggest pet peeves..... an anal personality! I just looked it up on the thesaurus trying to find a better word and they gave; nit-picker, stickler, fusspot, perfectionist, anal retentive.... you get the picture. I was thinking about this because this is a VERY strong personality characteristic of my 2 year old and I don't know how to handle it! This is a characteristic in people that has bothered me for a long time..... and.. of course..... I have a daughter with it! So not only did my 2 year old get the absolute stubbornness of my family, but she got the very strong nit-pickiness from James family (I am blaming his family because there isn't much of that in my family:) Just kidding, there is some of that in my family too) Needless to say... we have some SERIOUS battles with her about things not being exactly how she wants them! & since she can't hardly communicate to us what it is she wants, the tantrums are 10 times worse because we don't understand what she wants.....
This whole thinking process got me to my "Perfectly Imperfect" awareness! I am 100% (ok, maybe not 100%, but pretty darn close) fine with not being perfect! I don't want perfection! I have come to the realization that I LOVE imperfection! Is this strange? I have gotten to the point that I don't stress over the fact that my face may be breaking out, my house isn't always clean (or completed with the design), that I have moments of total frustration with my kids, etc. I am finding that I am completely embracing it! You quite often hear about how LDS woman feel like they have to be perfect & how they don't like to show if they are struggling in an area of their life. I think I am the exact opposite of that! I don't want people to ever think or look at me as perfect ( I know you are laughing if you really know me because I am far from perfect). Have you ever met someone that you thought had this "Perfect" persona on their face & how unapproachable they are? You feel very intimidated by them & find that you try to keep away from them in fear of doing something out of the "Perfect". This is something that I don't EVER want to come across to other people. I want people to know my flaws, to know my laid back personality and feel comfortable around me..... I even feel like that has come across with my designing style with my walls. I didn't paint my walls, I imperfectly stained my walls where it shows flaws & variations and I LOVE how imperfect it is!!!!! I know it is strange to use that as an example, but I feel like it completely shows who I am.
How do you feel about yourself? Do you feel like you are completely fine with your imperfections, or do you feel that you need to be "perfect" so that other people won't judge you? Now I need to work on not judging people who feel that they need perfection! Especially my 2 year old daughter.... I am sure she was given this "gift" of perfection to teach her mama some lessons!
We always knew that we were going to have a Brooklyn and Kenidi so their names were never surprises. I wanted to keep this baby's name a secret until she was born but I really don't think I can keep it to myself. I am one who has to have a name picked out right away and call it by that name.... it is a weird bonding thing to me (at least James thinks I am weird). I will do a separate post on that later though because I may need some opinions on the spelling and middle name for her.
p.s I wanted to post the cute little 3D picture that was done of her but my computer is permanently shut off since it has about over 200 viruses on it (?) & I don't dare do anything with James work computer, so these posts are still pictureless. (but yes I did finally find my battery charger)
ANYWAYS, I was in the bathroom getting ready the other day thinking through my head one of my biggest pet peeves..... an anal personality! I just looked it up on the thesaurus trying to find a better word and they gave; nit-picker, stickler, fusspot, perfectionist, anal retentive.... you get the picture. I was thinking about this because this is a VERY strong personality characteristic of my 2 year old and I don't know how to handle it! This is a characteristic in people that has bothered me for a long time..... and.. of course..... I have a daughter with it! So not only did my 2 year old get the absolute stubbornness of my family, but she got the very strong nit-pickiness from James family (I am blaming his family because there isn't much of that in my family:) Just kidding, there is some of that in my family too) Needless to say... we have some SERIOUS battles with her about things not being exactly how she wants them! & since she can't hardly communicate to us what it is she wants, the tantrums are 10 times worse because we don't understand what she wants.....
This whole thinking process got me to my "Perfectly Imperfect" awareness! I am 100% (ok, maybe not 100%, but pretty darn close) fine with not being perfect! I don't want perfection! I have come to the realization that I LOVE imperfection! Is this strange? I have gotten to the point that I don't stress over the fact that my face may be breaking out, my house isn't always clean (or completed with the design), that I have moments of total frustration with my kids, etc. I am finding that I am completely embracing it! You quite often hear about how LDS woman feel like they have to be perfect & how they don't like to show if they are struggling in an area of their life. I think I am the exact opposite of that! I don't want people to ever think or look at me as perfect ( I know you are laughing if you really know me because I am far from perfect). Have you ever met someone that you thought had this "Perfect" persona on their face & how unapproachable they are? You feel very intimidated by them & find that you try to keep away from them in fear of doing something out of the "Perfect". This is something that I don't EVER want to come across to other people. I want people to know my flaws, to know my laid back personality and feel comfortable around me..... I even feel like that has come across with my designing style with my walls. I didn't paint my walls, I imperfectly stained my walls where it shows flaws & variations and I LOVE how imperfect it is!!!!! I know it is strange to use that as an example, but I feel like it completely shows who I am.
How do you feel about yourself? Do you feel like you are completely fine with your imperfections, or do you feel that you need to be "perfect" so that other people won't judge you? Now I need to work on not judging people who feel that they need perfection! Especially my 2 year old daughter.... I am sure she was given this "gift" of perfection to teach her mama some lessons!
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Should We Stay or Should We Go Now?.....
I know posts are kind of boring without pictures, but I honestly cannot find my darn camera battery charger, so you are stuck with my thoughts or pictureless posts.
But.... I wanted to post some AWESOME news! It is at least very awesome news for me. James and I tried to Refinance our house for almost a year. After a long a grueling process, we were denied our refinance! We looked at other options and decided to do a Modification. After 8 months of going through that crap of a process, we finally found out yesterday that we were APPROVED!!!! If you don't know exactly what that means... that means that we are NOT having to move now!!!
This home was a second home for us which means that our interest rate was out of the roof! Ridiculously high..... after we moved into it, we started the refinance process since it had become our primary residence. It has been a very long, retarded process to say the least, but I am SO excited that we don't have to move.
When we started this process, I was perfectly fine moving out & just moving on. Well, in the past few months, I have made some awesome friends here in my neighborhood and I really don't want to lose that and have to start over. Now we are needing to get yard plans and put that in this spring...... There are 2 things that I am EXTATIC about. One- I don't have to pack up my house and move while I am 8 months pregnant! Two- I can put a garden in this year which I have ALWAYS wanted to do! I finally feel like things are coming together & working out... let's just hope and pray that all of our dilemmas come out on top that this one did! :)
But.... I wanted to post some AWESOME news! It is at least very awesome news for me. James and I tried to Refinance our house for almost a year. After a long a grueling process, we were denied our refinance! We looked at other options and decided to do a Modification. After 8 months of going through that crap of a process, we finally found out yesterday that we were APPROVED!!!! If you don't know exactly what that means... that means that we are NOT having to move now!!!
This home was a second home for us which means that our interest rate was out of the roof! Ridiculously high..... after we moved into it, we started the refinance process since it had become our primary residence. It has been a very long, retarded process to say the least, but I am SO excited that we don't have to move.
When we started this process, I was perfectly fine moving out & just moving on. Well, in the past few months, I have made some awesome friends here in my neighborhood and I really don't want to lose that and have to start over. Now we are needing to get yard plans and put that in this spring...... There are 2 things that I am EXTATIC about. One- I don't have to pack up my house and move while I am 8 months pregnant! Two- I can put a garden in this year which I have ALWAYS wanted to do! I finally feel like things are coming together & working out... let's just hope and pray that all of our dilemmas come out on top that this one did! :)
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