My friend Haylie wrote such a beautifully written post that I mentioned in my last post that honestly says how I feel on the subject, but she writes it so much better than I can. I hope she doesn't mind me sharing it... She has a daughter that is almost 2 & is expecting twin girls the same time I am expecting this little one, so our situations are very similar.
http://studefam04.blogspot.com/2011/04/faith.html
sorry if it's not a link, the iPhone doesn't let me do a lot of things.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Getting Personal with Pain Relief
I really hesitate getting too personal on here. I'm not afraid to share who I am, but I am afraid of those strangers or people who don't know me all too well that may poke fun or make light of the situation, but I really am feeling that I need to pour my heart out in a sense..... so PLEASE, if this is something that it too personal or that you don't agree with, please don't comment. I am not trying to argue what is right and what it wrong. This is simply my experience.
There are things about me that I don't share with a lot of people or talk about. If it is brought up, I won't hesitate to talk about it, but I won't bring it up to people or push it on people.... you can say that some of these things aren't easily accepted by some.
As most of you know, I have been severely struggling with some physical issues lately. My body hasn't been wanting to function properly and I have been in some extreme pain in my pubic bone area, making it almost impossible for me to walk and function in my everyday life. I have been seeing a Chiropractor which has done wonders for all of my pains except for this one. After being in such excruciating pain and feeling nauseous, I called my Dr. this morning to move my appointment to today instead of Tuesday to see if everything was ok. He was concerned about what was going on and scheduled an ultrasound to have my legs checked to see if I had blood clots in my legs. Thank goodness there were no blood clots, but I was feeling upset that there weren't any answers! I want this pain to go away.
Now for the past week, I have been researching different things and asking people things to try and find something that could possibly help me. I was willing to try anything. I had a thought to send a FB message to one of my mom's best friends from Idaho and my aunt who both do energy work. This is the part that may be questionable for some, for me, this is my normal. I asked them if they could see if there was anything that could help me in that area. If you aren't familiar with energy work, I'm not going to go into it because there are different areas of it. My mom's friend focuses on the health stuff and my aunt focuses more on the emotional stuff. Anyway, I got home from the hospital today and my aunt calls me. She tells me that the answers she is getting for me is that my pain is all emotional.
I mentioned a while ago that I have been bottling things up inside. I really am a firm believer that when it is bottled up, it will store somewhere. All of the emotions are storing up in my pubic bone and legs for me.
Without me even telling her what my feelings were, she knew what was going on and knew how to help me release it. It was very emotional for me! My heart is broken over some of the things... but they are things that I have been holding on to. Things that I associate with this pregnancy that are now physically affecting the pregnancy. The bottom line of all of it.... I am holding on to so much negativity right now with my life & this pregnancy, that it is finding a way to show itself.
After talking with my aunt and having her walk me through some visualizations, I got up and was able to walk down the stairs normal! The pain wasn't completely gone, but I wasn't having to hop down the stairs or hold myself up on the railing. This is huge for me. I am finally finding the relief that I have been looking for, a long with some healing that is probably well over due about my pregnancy and life right now.....
A friend of mine blogged about this today and it is just ringing so true to me. Why are we so negative? Why am I so negative? I have been RIDICULOUSLY negative lately and I know it is affecting my life in every aspect. Why do I try to look for ways to try and lift other people, but put myself & my life down in every way? Why do I feel that other people are worth God's love and attention, but think that there is no way that he can love me or know me? I know things happen for a reason and in the end, they always work out.... so why do I fight it and get upset every time? I know I have a lot more things to work through, but I am glad to have gotten the push I needed to move in that direction. Let's hope and pray that the negativity can just stay out of my way.
Something that my aunt said to me that is just piercing me. She told me "Lindsi, God made you wait those 6 years to get a child so that you could be ready to love and accept these 3 little ones so close to each other". I know that to be true just by how much it has haunted my brain today. I know it is not going to be easy, but I know I can do it.... God wouldn't give it to me unless I was able to do it.
I haven't shared everything on here. There was a lot of very personal things that came up for me today that I am not willing to share on the blog. Mainly the things that I have been bottling up, but if someone out there could benefit for their own sake from hearing it, I would be willing to share on a more personal level. I know I am not the only one out there that is suffering or hurting.... I am discovering that pretty much every person we come in contact with is suffering or hurting in their own way. We honestly and truly never really know what a person is going through!
There are things about me that I don't share with a lot of people or talk about. If it is brought up, I won't hesitate to talk about it, but I won't bring it up to people or push it on people.... you can say that some of these things aren't easily accepted by some.
As most of you know, I have been severely struggling with some physical issues lately. My body hasn't been wanting to function properly and I have been in some extreme pain in my pubic bone area, making it almost impossible for me to walk and function in my everyday life. I have been seeing a Chiropractor which has done wonders for all of my pains except for this one. After being in such excruciating pain and feeling nauseous, I called my Dr. this morning to move my appointment to today instead of Tuesday to see if everything was ok. He was concerned about what was going on and scheduled an ultrasound to have my legs checked to see if I had blood clots in my legs. Thank goodness there were no blood clots, but I was feeling upset that there weren't any answers! I want this pain to go away.
Now for the past week, I have been researching different things and asking people things to try and find something that could possibly help me. I was willing to try anything. I had a thought to send a FB message to one of my mom's best friends from Idaho and my aunt who both do energy work. This is the part that may be questionable for some, for me, this is my normal. I asked them if they could see if there was anything that could help me in that area. If you aren't familiar with energy work, I'm not going to go into it because there are different areas of it. My mom's friend focuses on the health stuff and my aunt focuses more on the emotional stuff. Anyway, I got home from the hospital today and my aunt calls me. She tells me that the answers she is getting for me is that my pain is all emotional.
I mentioned a while ago that I have been bottling things up inside. I really am a firm believer that when it is bottled up, it will store somewhere. All of the emotions are storing up in my pubic bone and legs for me.
Without me even telling her what my feelings were, she knew what was going on and knew how to help me release it. It was very emotional for me! My heart is broken over some of the things... but they are things that I have been holding on to. Things that I associate with this pregnancy that are now physically affecting the pregnancy. The bottom line of all of it.... I am holding on to so much negativity right now with my life & this pregnancy, that it is finding a way to show itself.
After talking with my aunt and having her walk me through some visualizations, I got up and was able to walk down the stairs normal! The pain wasn't completely gone, but I wasn't having to hop down the stairs or hold myself up on the railing. This is huge for me. I am finally finding the relief that I have been looking for, a long with some healing that is probably well over due about my pregnancy and life right now.....
A friend of mine blogged about this today and it is just ringing so true to me. Why are we so negative? Why am I so negative? I have been RIDICULOUSLY negative lately and I know it is affecting my life in every aspect. Why do I try to look for ways to try and lift other people, but put myself & my life down in every way? Why do I feel that other people are worth God's love and attention, but think that there is no way that he can love me or know me? I know things happen for a reason and in the end, they always work out.... so why do I fight it and get upset every time? I know I have a lot more things to work through, but I am glad to have gotten the push I needed to move in that direction. Let's hope and pray that the negativity can just stay out of my way.
Something that my aunt said to me that is just piercing me. She told me "Lindsi, God made you wait those 6 years to get a child so that you could be ready to love and accept these 3 little ones so close to each other". I know that to be true just by how much it has haunted my brain today. I know it is not going to be easy, but I know I can do it.... God wouldn't give it to me unless I was able to do it.
I haven't shared everything on here. There was a lot of very personal things that came up for me today that I am not willing to share on the blog. Mainly the things that I have been bottling up, but if someone out there could benefit for their own sake from hearing it, I would be willing to share on a more personal level. I know I am not the only one out there that is suffering or hurting.... I am discovering that pretty much every person we come in contact with is suffering or hurting in their own way. We honestly and truly never really know what a person is going through!
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Egg Hunt
Today was our first experience of doing a public/city egg hunt.... It was the first & the last! WHAT.A.JOKE!
My sister wanted us to go to the South Jordan egg hunt with them this year. After worrying whether or not we could even get there on time for a 9:00 hunt, we made it with time to spare. The hunt was sectioned off by age groups. There was a group for 1 & 2 year olds which was perfect for both my girls & then my sister's girls were in the 7 & 8 year old group. You stood in squares around the candy for your age group. The announcer came over the mic wanting to countdown for everyone to say Hi to the Chic Fil A cow & a woman in my sister's group thought it was the countdown to start so she yells go & the majority of the kids ran out! Well my neices new it wasn't the siren to go do they hardly got anything.
For our group, because we had the little babes, 1 parent was allowed to help a child.... But let me remind you, this was an egg hunt for 1 & 2 year olds. I was back just a bit with Kenidi & James was in front of me with Brooklyn, the siren went off & those parents fled! I couldn't even get on the course, I looked out & it was a SEA of adults backs scooping candy into their kid's baskets! I cannot express how disgusted I was (& am). I was so hoping for this cute experience of my girls getting their candy & it pretty much didn't happen. They got a few little pieces that parents missed but they definitely didn't get a cute egg hunt experience.... Needless to say, it is something that we will not venture out to do again!
Why would grown adults have to ruin the experience for these little ones? If you want candy that bad, go to the freakin store! It's about the experience for these little ones.
But on a good note, the girls were able to play with their cousins today & go help feed their cousins little black lambs. We also took them swimming & they had a blast! Looking forward to a REAL Easter Egg Hunt tomorrow at the grandparent's house.
My sister wanted us to go to the South Jordan egg hunt with them this year. After worrying whether or not we could even get there on time for a 9:00 hunt, we made it with time to spare. The hunt was sectioned off by age groups. There was a group for 1 & 2 year olds which was perfect for both my girls & then my sister's girls were in the 7 & 8 year old group. You stood in squares around the candy for your age group. The announcer came over the mic wanting to countdown for everyone to say Hi to the Chic Fil A cow & a woman in my sister's group thought it was the countdown to start so she yells go & the majority of the kids ran out! Well my neices new it wasn't the siren to go do they hardly got anything.
For our group, because we had the little babes, 1 parent was allowed to help a child.... But let me remind you, this was an egg hunt for 1 & 2 year olds. I was back just a bit with Kenidi & James was in front of me with Brooklyn, the siren went off & those parents fled! I couldn't even get on the course, I looked out & it was a SEA of adults backs scooping candy into their kid's baskets! I cannot express how disgusted I was (& am). I was so hoping for this cute experience of my girls getting their candy & it pretty much didn't happen. They got a few little pieces that parents missed but they definitely didn't get a cute egg hunt experience.... Needless to say, it is something that we will not venture out to do again!
Why would grown adults have to ruin the experience for these little ones? If you want candy that bad, go to the freakin store! It's about the experience for these little ones.
But on a good note, the girls were able to play with their cousins today & go help feed their cousins little black lambs. We also took them swimming & they had a blast! Looking forward to a REAL Easter Egg Hunt tomorrow at the grandparent's house.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Vacation
Does anybody else feel like they are in need of a serious vacation?
We have been on a vacation every year since we have been married with my family & this year we can't go! My family is heading to South Carolina for my step-sisters wedding & we can't go since it is a month after I have this baby. Can you imagine traveling across the country with a newborn, 1 year old & 2 year old, all sleeping in the same room with a waking newborn, having to nurse every 2 or so hours while toting 2 strollers, 2 cribs, 3 carseats..... The thought overwhelms me! So needless to say, we are not going.
The 1 year that I feel like I need a vacation most, I'm not getting one at all! I am hoping that for our 10 year anniversary next year that we can get away from kids & not be pregnant & enjoy a great little vacation just the 2 of us!.....
As I am writing this, my 2 year old is "singing" at the top of her lungs 2 feet away from me & poking me in the face.....
I seriously need that vacation.
We have been on a vacation every year since we have been married with my family & this year we can't go! My family is heading to South Carolina for my step-sisters wedding & we can't go since it is a month after I have this baby. Can you imagine traveling across the country with a newborn, 1 year old & 2 year old, all sleeping in the same room with a waking newborn, having to nurse every 2 or so hours while toting 2 strollers, 2 cribs, 3 carseats..... The thought overwhelms me! So needless to say, we are not going.
The 1 year that I feel like I need a vacation most, I'm not getting one at all! I am hoping that for our 10 year anniversary next year that we can get away from kids & not be pregnant & enjoy a great little vacation just the 2 of us!.....
As I am writing this, my 2 year old is "singing" at the top of her lungs 2 feet away from me & poking me in the face.....
I seriously need that vacation.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Privately
I don't know how people keep things to themselves & bottle things up inside! I have been trying to hold things in & not be open or discuss things & I am pretty sure I have had a private break down everyday. That can't be healthy.....
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Gotta love it...
Today was our Stake Conference. We went in and sat down... we were actually a bit early! I turned to James and said "2 hours on these chairs is going to kill me!" He got up and ran to the room and got a cushioned chair for me! (Love him :) I could over hear the couple behind us and he got up and went to grab her a cushion seat after seeing James do it. The lady leaned forward and said "you made him feel bad that he didn't do that for me". I was thinking in my head, "what do you need a cushion for?" She asks me when I am due and I tell her June 30th. She tells me that she is due Aug 1st.... WHAT!? She did not look ONE.BIT.PREGNANT!
Everyone comes up to me and tells me
"oh, you look miserable, when are you due?"
"I'm due on June 30th."
"How are you going to make it that long, you look like you are ready to give birth"
Yes people, I know I am HUGE! Yes I am miserable and in pain..... If you it hurts you to watch me move, just imagine how I feel ;)
James and I were seriously in shock over the fact that she was pregnant and only a month behind me. She carries her babies long obviously and I have absolutely no where my my babies to go but out since my hip bones and ribs pretty much touch.....
Gotta love all of the comments & small pregnant women to make you feel gargantuan!
Everyone comes up to me and tells me
"oh, you look miserable, when are you due?"
"I'm due on June 30th."
"How are you going to make it that long, you look like you are ready to give birth"
Yes people, I know I am HUGE! Yes I am miserable and in pain..... If you it hurts you to watch me move, just imagine how I feel ;)
James and I were seriously in shock over the fact that she was pregnant and only a month behind me. She carries her babies long obviously and I have absolutely no where my my babies to go but out since my hip bones and ribs pretty much touch.....
Gotta love all of the comments & small pregnant women to make you feel gargantuan!
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Unofficially official
He hasn't flat out said "yes her name is Peyton" I have been calling her by it and Im pretty sure he is just going to let it be :)
now to decide between:
Peyton Capri
Payton Capri
Paityn Capri
I always thought my kids middle names would all be family names but I haven't found one I like with the name. So...... I got Capri from a song from Colbie Callait.... Not to mention the gorgeous Italy location :)
She is my baby Peyton/Payton/Paityn & I am getting anxious to meet her & see what she looks like!
now to decide between:
Peyton Capri
Payton Capri
Paityn Capri
I always thought my kids middle names would all be family names but I haven't found one I like with the name. So...... I got Capri from a song from Colbie Callait.... Not to mention the gorgeous Italy location :)
She is my baby Peyton/Payton/Paityn & I am getting anxious to meet her & see what she looks like!
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Talents
This is something that has been on my mind lately for a number of reasons. A friend of mine did a post reccently about feeling mediocre & not feeling real talented as well as a situation in our life that I have not shared (even I don 't share everything that is going on in my life) that has really made me think about this topic.... Even my husband has really been thinking about this.
I posted this question to my husband last night, "Would you rather have 1 talent that you excel at and are one of the very best or would you rather have multiple talents that you are good at but you aren't the best in any one of them?". His first response was to have multiple as to be a well rounded person but then he stopped himself & said that most people who are really successful & wealthy are ones who have 1 that they really excel at and are the best. These are exactly my thoughts & it kind of frustrates me a bit because I am one of those people that are blessed with multiple talents but don't excel in any specific one.
For the past 3 years, I have wanted to get something started. A small business from home that I can do with my girls. I first wanted to paint murals & make this my full time business, I got postcards designed & mailed out, spent time & money getting it together & then I found out I was pregnant for the first time. It is VERY difficult to paint when pregnant, nauseaus and have an aching body. I know I'm not the best artist but I felt it was a talent that I could really do something with.... Biggest problem, everyone in Utah wants a Mural for their kids but nobody is willing to pay for it! It is a piece of art & it is very time consuming. SO many layers go into creating a mural & people can 't see the work that goes into it.
When I got pregnant with Kenidi I had started my design blog. I originally started it just to show friends & family what I was doing with my house & give some tips.... I had NEVER heard of a blog like this (yes I live under a rock)... I got a little down because I thought Zi had such an original idea, but then I found out that people actually made money doing design blogs! Well that thought was short lived because I had ZERO time to work on my house & post anything after Kenidi was born.
Then I had an Awesome idea to start a small Nursery Design business that I could really work on after my girls went to bed. I spent MONTHS getting this business together, got product made, drawings rendered together, etsy shop setup, name & logos worked on, etc. A lot of work was being put in to getting this business going & I found out once again I was pregnant & sick ALL.DAY.LONG... That whole thing came to a halt!
I know I'm not the best Interior Designer out there, but I felt that with the blog I could offer a lot of inexpensive ideas along with great tips. With the Nursery Design business, I felt I had a great product to offer but mostly that I could create room renderings to help people see some of these ideas.... Multiple talents but nothing really excelled in.
Cooking. This is a talent I have developed in the past few years but am not sure what I can do with it outside of my family....
I want to excel in something but every time I try, I feel I am beat down. Like God won't let me pursue anything to make money or something... I don't know! This is me rambling & complaining a bit.
But I am curious what all of you think, would you rather excel in 1 area or would you prefer yo have multiple talents but maybe not be real great at any 1 thing?
I posted this question to my husband last night, "Would you rather have 1 talent that you excel at and are one of the very best or would you rather have multiple talents that you are good at but you aren't the best in any one of them?". His first response was to have multiple as to be a well rounded person but then he stopped himself & said that most people who are really successful & wealthy are ones who have 1 that they really excel at and are the best. These are exactly my thoughts & it kind of frustrates me a bit because I am one of those people that are blessed with multiple talents but don't excel in any specific one.
For the past 3 years, I have wanted to get something started. A small business from home that I can do with my girls. I first wanted to paint murals & make this my full time business, I got postcards designed & mailed out, spent time & money getting it together & then I found out I was pregnant for the first time. It is VERY difficult to paint when pregnant, nauseaus and have an aching body. I know I'm not the best artist but I felt it was a talent that I could really do something with.... Biggest problem, everyone in Utah wants a Mural for their kids but nobody is willing to pay for it! It is a piece of art & it is very time consuming. SO many layers go into creating a mural & people can 't see the work that goes into it.
When I got pregnant with Kenidi I had started my design blog. I originally started it just to show friends & family what I was doing with my house & give some tips.... I had NEVER heard of a blog like this (yes I live under a rock)... I got a little down because I thought Zi had such an original idea, but then I found out that people actually made money doing design blogs! Well that thought was short lived because I had ZERO time to work on my house & post anything after Kenidi was born.
Then I had an Awesome idea to start a small Nursery Design business that I could really work on after my girls went to bed. I spent MONTHS getting this business together, got product made, drawings rendered together, etsy shop setup, name & logos worked on, etc. A lot of work was being put in to getting this business going & I found out once again I was pregnant & sick ALL.DAY.LONG... That whole thing came to a halt!
I know I'm not the best Interior Designer out there, but I felt that with the blog I could offer a lot of inexpensive ideas along with great tips. With the Nursery Design business, I felt I had a great product to offer but mostly that I could create room renderings to help people see some of these ideas.... Multiple talents but nothing really excelled in.
Cooking. This is a talent I have developed in the past few years but am not sure what I can do with it outside of my family....
I want to excel in something but every time I try, I feel I am beat down. Like God won't let me pursue anything to make money or something... I don't know! This is me rambling & complaining a bit.
But I am curious what all of you think, would you rather excel in 1 area or would you prefer yo have multiple talents but maybe not be real great at any 1 thing?
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Baby Names once again
Yes I am visiting the baby names once again! I hate not having a name to call her & to refer to her as with her sisters. Her name is narrowed down to 2. It is basically narrowed down to 1, but I don't want to boot out the one & only name James has loved (outside of Brooklyn).
So here they are, I want & have always wanted Peyton (Payton, Paityn). James likes it but he isn't in love with it, however, he is in love with Gemma. I suggested this as a joke & he actually responded opposite & fell in love with it. So here is my (retarded) dilemma. I like Gemma if it is paired with Lyn: Gemma Lyn or Gemmalyn... Here's the problem, I already have a BrookLYN! So, it would be dumb to have 2 girls with Lyn right? And yes, I am one that calls them by their middle name quite often so it is a big deal to me. Otherwise the other option is Peyton Capri. We don't have a spelling decided on for that name yet.... So, what do you think? What are your opinions? I am curious. I want a name decided on but I want James happy also (he has pretty much been the reason for the narrow down to these 2).
So here they are, I want & have always wanted Peyton (Payton, Paityn). James likes it but he isn't in love with it, however, he is in love with Gemma. I suggested this as a joke & he actually responded opposite & fell in love with it. So here is my (retarded) dilemma. I like Gemma if it is paired with Lyn: Gemma Lyn or Gemmalyn... Here's the problem, I already have a BrookLYN! So, it would be dumb to have 2 girls with Lyn right? And yes, I am one that calls them by their middle name quite often so it is a big deal to me. Otherwise the other option is Peyton Capri. We don't have a spelling decided on for that name yet.... So, what do you think? What are your opinions? I am curious. I want a name decided on but I want James happy also (he has pretty much been the reason for the narrow down to these 2).
Monday, April 4, 2011
Be over already
Please day be over! Or should I say Please past 3 years be over! It is never ending......
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