First off, let me start off by saying that we went to the ultrasound this past week and found out that we are having another GIRL! I laughed so hard when she said that.... but then I felt bad for James. He was SO hoping for a boy this time around (& needs a little boy with all of the estrogen in our household).
We always knew that we were going to have a Brooklyn and Kenidi so their names were never surprises. I wanted to keep this baby's name a secret until she was born but I really don't think I can keep it to myself. I am one who has to have a name picked out right away and call it by that name.... it is a weird bonding thing to me (at least James thinks I am weird). I will do a separate post on that later though because I may need some opinions on the spelling and middle name for her.
p.s I wanted to post the cute little 3D picture that was done of her but my computer is permanently shut off since it has about over 200 viruses on it (?) & I don't dare do anything with James work computer, so these posts are still pictureless. (but yes I did finally find my battery charger)
ANYWAYS, I was in the bathroom getting ready the other day thinking through my head one of my biggest pet peeves..... an anal personality! I just looked it up on the thesaurus trying to find a better word and they gave; nit-picker, stickler, fusspot, perfectionist, anal retentive.... you get the picture. I was thinking about this because this is a VERY strong personality characteristic of my 2 year old and I don't know how to handle it! This is a characteristic in people that has bothered me for a long time..... and.. of course..... I have a daughter with it! So not only did my 2 year old get the absolute stubbornness of my family, but she got the very strong nit-pickiness from James family (I am blaming his family because there isn't much of that in my family:) Just kidding, there is some of that in my family too) Needless to say... we have some SERIOUS battles with her about things not being exactly how she wants them! & since she can't hardly communicate to us what it is she wants, the tantrums are 10 times worse because we don't understand what she wants.....
This whole thinking process got me to my "Perfectly Imperfect" awareness! I am 100% (ok, maybe not 100%, but pretty darn close) fine with not being perfect! I don't want perfection! I have come to the realization that I LOVE imperfection! Is this strange? I have gotten to the point that I don't stress over the fact that my face may be breaking out, my house isn't always clean (or completed with the design), that I have moments of total frustration with my kids, etc. I am finding that I am completely embracing it! You quite often hear about how LDS woman feel like they have to be perfect & how they don't like to show if they are struggling in an area of their life. I think I am the exact opposite of that! I don't want people to ever think or look at me as perfect ( I know you are laughing if you really know me because I am far from perfect). Have you ever met someone that you thought had this "Perfect" persona on their face & how unapproachable they are? You feel very intimidated by them & find that you try to keep away from them in fear of doing something out of the "Perfect". This is something that I don't EVER want to come across to other people. I want people to know my flaws, to know my laid back personality and feel comfortable around me..... I even feel like that has come across with my designing style with my walls. I didn't paint my walls, I imperfectly stained my walls where it shows flaws & variations and I LOVE how imperfect it is!!!!! I know it is strange to use that as an example, but I feel like it completely shows who I am.
How do you feel about yourself? Do you feel like you are completely fine with your imperfections, or do you feel that you need to be "perfect" so that other people won't judge you? Now I need to work on not judging people who feel that they need perfection! Especially my 2 year old daughter.... I am sure she was given this "gift" of perfection to teach her mama some lessons!
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